Freedom

Freedom

So elusive, so sought after.

A friend taught me about freedom. He says that he retired when he was 23. Meaning, he has been doing what people have been saving for after retirement his whole life – doing things as and when he likes and enjoying his life to the max. Do what he loves to do while traveling all over the world – at the same time.

A housewife’s route to freedom might be taking up a new job, finally earning her first paycheck and having her own pocket money to do as she please without feeling at all guilty.

Many people’s definition of freedom is quitting their job and traveling the world for a whole year straight, just because they can.

While another friend wants to buy another apartment so that she can have her own space to do whatever she wants without her family’s scrutinizing her every move.

I think freedom is in the mind.

Two people can be married, staying under the same roof and share meals together can feel like both have all the freedom in the world, while another couple could feel contrived and trapped.

A person’s sense of freedom can just be destroyed if he feels like he has no choice in the matter.

I often hear a mother say to a loitering teenager, “You are too free, go find something productive to do!”

If choice equals freedom, would it be possible to have too much freedom? Too much freedom, too many choices? What is too much too many?

When you say you want to be free, what does that mean?

If you have a choice, how would your life look like?

I am working towards my freedom. How does it look like? Mine is not like my friend’s but close. I would like to do what I like to do, when I like to do it and enjoying my life to the max. That is as far as the similarities go. My freedom doesn’t look like my friend’s in the logistics; however his journey to freedom inspires mine.

Ah...On Being Different

Went for several interviews and I noticed that my resume stood out like a sore thumb. How so?

a) I graduated with my BS in Psych in 2006 when I was 25 years old and not 22 or 23 years old. So employers asked... Why so late?

b) I had gabs in my resume as I took time off to travel and do nothing relevant to any job in the world. So employers asked ... What did you do?

c) I studied in the US and worked in NZ for 6 months. So employers asked, Did you plan to stay on longer/permanently in those countries? (and looked puzzled when I said, No and I love Malaysia and proud to be back here.)

d) I am 27 years old and have not held a job for more than 2 years. Employers just looked concerned...

So the question is, does Malaysia support its people being different and in wanting to be an individual?

Naked Truth

What is beauty?
Is it only skin deep?
Is it only on the inside?
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, they say
Beauty exist in everything, everywhere
Do you really believe this?
Can you really see beauty in a homeless man that stinks?
Can you really see innocence in a murderer walking the green mile?
Can you really see?

I am trying to...
be naked and just see beauty everywhere.

Mother and sisters

It took 27 years
to arrive to this point
It is still a love hate relationship
as it is with myself
But I treasure you
with all my heart
For I know
without you
I would not be here right now
For I know
if I do not take time to know you
I would not know myself

Thorns on My Rear?

Picture of the Week: Babes stranded over water



I wish to learn to love
the Thorns in my rear


I am trying to get out of the belief system that "I can only make money in this world with a 9-5 job." This belief has dictated my life since I was young as society would say, Study Hard, go to university, get a good job to make heaps of money. I want to follow that social norm and just be happy but I can't seem to sit in an office for 8 hours. A 9-5 job seems so boring and just not a good use of time. I find that my time is better spent doing several things at once. Right now, I am assisting my mum at her Trading House business and I am also helping my dad start his Management Service business. At the same time, my friend, Jaime, and I are at the planning stage of putting on a Teen Grooming Seminar in Melaka. I feel so alive being engaged in so many levels "at work."

I am sure many people find their jobs/careers highly satisfying and purposeful and if it so happens to be a 9-5 job, good on you! I have tried being in a job, and God knows I have tried, but something just doesn't feel right having a life that is so predictable. I keep thinking that life doesn't have to be this way. Ideally, I would like to dictate my own timetable. I would like to take a vacation anytime I want, and live the life that I designed.

To make such a bold move, I have to admit was not without challenge. There were and are insecurities about not having a month-to-month paycheck. I am also feeling a bit stressed that I am 27 years old now and have not "done much" in society's standards. My list of achievements includes finishing a degree in the longest time possible (I was working full-time and studying full-time), travels to about 10 countries thus far, many solo trips of self discovery, picking up weird skills, meeting countless awesome people,...and so on. So, my "success" has been not as typical and as measurable as say a well-paid job, a husband, 2 and 1/2 children, plus a car and a house.

In the end of the day, I have to examine what I believe about life and what I truly want out of it. The road that societal expectation has laid out for me isn't working out and I have to be honest myself. So, I would like to pay heed to my Auntie Dehyana's words of wisdom - "do what you love and the money will follow" and "have faith" that the universe will not let me starve to death when I am "following my bliss."

I hope. *prays*

Ice Cream and I!

I CANNOT eat ice cream anymore.

That is what the Sin sei (Chinese Medicine Guru) told me. My body is freezing from the inside out, he said, and that I should avoid anything that is "cooling" as it will cause a lot of problems to my body's well-being. This includes fresh fruits, fresh veges, and basically anything that comes out from the fridge or freezer is off limits. So, this goes without saying that ice-cream, my favorite dessert in the whole wide world after chocolate is off-limits.

See, I do not eat much ice-cream on a daily basis. But it is the fact that I CANNOT now is what I have a problem with. Whenever I walk past the ice-cream aisle in Tesco, I would "lust" for a beautiful Haagen Daz tub of ice-cream. Strawberry flavour to be exact.

*Sigh*

What is a girl that cannot enjoy her ice-cream to do? What am I going to turn to for comfort and solace when I am emotionally low? I need a shoulder to cry on.

*Munches on a Cadbury Crunchie chocolate bar*

Paris Hilton Vs Saving the Planet

I am at home on my computer today and was reading the latest H&M magazine on the internet. An article in the magazine asks, "Why are girls nowadays more interested in Paris Hilton and what she is wearing in a Movie Premier than how to save the world?

I have to admit I am one of those girls albeit I am not so interested in Paris' latest fling, I would be first to admit that I'd gravitate quicker to a Cosmo Magazine than a Save the World newsletter any day. When I go shopping, I would go cheaper and not so much think about going green. So, it is definitely not yet in my immediate consciousness to save the world.

In Malaysia, the place I am currently residing, people only recycle what is of value. A lorry would come to my housing area once or twice a week with the loudspeaker announcing, "Old Newspapers. Old CDs. Old scrap metals." When we have accumulated enough of such "valuable" trash, we would sell to this guy and get some money out of it. But is this enough? What happens to other garbage in the house? Plastic bottles and Styrofoams that has no biodegradability gets binned without a second thought.

There are slightly more awareness in the developed countries such as America and New Zealand. We have to sort out our garbage into little green recycling bins. So, cardboard boxes that holds our food products, plastic bottles, and jars that holds sauces all get recycled. It's amazing how many things can get recycled and I didn't even know could get recycled. I really liked that my flat-mates and I took recycling very seriously and played our part.

I reckon it is easier for people in the west to recycle as the government has already set up the infrastructure and services for people to recycle. Still, we can make a difference in Malaysia as well. How... you may ask. Well, I know of Non-profit organizations like Tzu Chi (Buddhist Org) that are collecting almost everything under the sun that are recyclable. My family has donated old candle stands, to old computer, clothes, plastic containers, glass jars and countless other things to them. So we are not only donating to the organization itself but we are also help saving the world. It really does feel good to make a difference.

So, ladies, give Paris Hilton her space and please do your part in this saving the world movement. It is really just as easy as putting an extra dustbin in your house (for recyclables) or just turning the computer of when you are not using it. It is really not going to break a fingernail at all.

As for me, I am going to pay more attention to Save the World newsletters next time I go to a bookstore and also recycle the Cosmopolitan Magazines that I am reading. Promise! :)

Cheers!